I entered the yoga studio feeling fragmented.
To be fair, I was on the verge of illness the level of which makes one question whether one should lounge or take to action; whether it would be socially irresponsible to extend the bug to others, or equally irresponsible to ignore the personal requirement of daily exercise …
Nonetheless, in response to the question, “how are you?” my automated response was given – “fine – thanks”.
An alternate reality.
Masks are barriers to connection.
They are instinctively established and instinctively felt.
I protect myself from you. You sense my mistrust.
The yoga class today introduce the idea of dropping down into reality – pain, discomfort, strength, power, light …
Dropping into reality … carefully setting aside the mask.
“How are you?”
“I moved to a new city in search of a career-orientated north star. The bright light that I thought that I saw … so wanted to see … was the shimmer of sun ray off metal – bright, attention-grabbing … fleeting.
And I am still here.
Still searching for the north star.
I feel a little lost and the people that I trust with my self are on the end of fibre optic cable, and I need face-to-face.
My apartment is soon to be sold which means the one small root that I had shot down into this life is going to be pulled up.
And my dating story is not being assisted by modern technology …
So – I’m feeling a little like I don’t belong …
a little fragmented
… but thankyou for asking.”