I feel slightly fraudulent …
… because I don’t feel as ‘pushed’ as I was a year ago; and not even a quarter of that ‘swallowed-whole’ feeling of 12 years ago.
I remember both … but at a distance.
So – can I write about my current ‘location’ now? When a previous one has been so much more ‘reader-worthy’?
… while I’m not back in the suffocating world of self-imposed and self-regulated expectations with self-rated outcomes (generally ‘not-quite-enough’), my current space is not not in the same general vicinity.
I have landed back at a cross-roads where I can hesitate a little longer or plough headlong down the unknown path … which has the allure that only the unknown can have … until it becomes known.
But can I truly write about something so mundane? Can I be a writer of ‘non-critical life-assessment’?
Pfft … why not … let’s see what happens …
May as well jump and splash for a while – just to see …
We all know that yes?
Every article offering “Top Ten Tips” / “Daily Rituals to Be Your Best You” / “Weekly Habits of Successful People” / “Life Hacks” tell me that first, I need to set a goal.
So – why am I writing:
To discover what brings me joy.
It is simple. It is also a little selfish. It is a goal that I am not sure anyone else will be interested in.
A goal that may not even need to be written about.
So … why write it down? Why not just experiment and find out what fits?
Because I want to capture the journey. I want to remember learnings.
I also want to write.
And I want to share. Because, maybe, there are some people like me, who want more joy in their lives … and want ideas on how to invite it in.
And why ‘joy’?
Well, happiness has been done.
… laughing …
And, after reading the books and doing the exercises and dabbling in the neuroscience and chemistry, there is a possibility that the ‘happiness’ goal is not something that I will ever realise. Or, even if I do – may take a while.
And I would like a little respite on the journey. The life equivalent of a sugar-fuelled high.
I would like more moments of ‘joy’; I would like us to become better friends.
This blog will serve as a map to how I worked it out.